Boo.

Hi. So yeah, I'm a bit late, but here's the previously promised picture of my Halloween costume. I was keeping it partly under wraps so that most of the people at the Dueckman Halloween party wouldn't have advance notice. Those of you who read this via facebook will have already seen this pic- it's my new profile portrait.

The rabbit ears were added spontaneously for a while at the party, and while technically not part of the costume, it worked, so hey. The hair was done at Moz... and looked better on me than I expected...

I go into there and talk to the lady staffing the counter, and explain what I wanted, and why. She says "Oh, I have just the girl for you!"

"Sorry, I'm married."

My appointment was a week later, in time for a shift at Ghost Ridge, but not so early that I'd be running around like a punk for a week. Not that _I_ minded. The gal that was picked out to do this job seemed quite pleased to be doing it. She probably gets a lot of requests from ladies like "I want it like Jennifer Aniston, kinda." No wait.. that's probably out of style.. who has the hair they all copy now? Whatever.

When the cut was finally done, I turned to leave, and found I had a row of ladies watching it happen. How often do you get an audience for a haircut?

I also did a job on my goatee, though the pic doesn't show it well. The bloody handprint on my face was good ole water based poster paint, (Which somehow disappeared all on its own by the time I got home) assorted junk around my neck, and the welding goggles that reminded me of the sunglasses I had in highschool, for the extreme tint. These goggles were horribly uncomfortable though. They spent more time around my neck, or perched on my head than on my face.

By far, the most difficult part of the outfit was my shoulderpads, and matching kneepads. Yes, that's a tire. A steel belted tire. My tough serrated knife was nearly powerless. My father in law's hacksaw was gruelingly slow, (although he was quite determined!) but Uncle Mark happened to be in the area with a skill saw. That did it. Sparks, stink, flying chunks, lo, the epic struggle.

Later on, when I needed an alteration, I didn't wanna pester those guys again, so I pestered another guy, Peter Gobbee, who brought forth his previously unused angle grinder, (for those of you unfamiliar, if you know a dremmel tool... it's like that, but on steroids. ) He also found the multi-stage solution to getting those spikes through. The steel belting poked out on the cut edges, and filing only wore down the rubber, exposing more metal... so I quit while I was ahead. Between that and the back ends of the spikes, this was not an item of comfort. A thick jacket would be needed.

After that, it was easy to string the chains across the back to hold it on. "You're NOT wearing that on the bus", my wife said as I prepared to wear most of the costume (minus the haircut and makeup) to the sci-fi convention at the start of October, "Some crazy guy will take it and use it to attack the bus driver!"

"Relax," assured Adam Zilliax, "The crazy guy is already WEARING it" Well, I relented, and my spiked shoulderpads found their own ride to the convention and back. However, when I wheeled to the Halloween party, with my spikes, and my triple mohawk, I was casting one badass shadow in front of myself every time I passed under a streetlight. (Remember, I didn't have the bunny ears on at that point!)

And so now, I have my difficult-to-dispose-of steel-belted armor to unload. I entertained wearing it to next years sci-fi convention, but I don't know where I'd store the unwieldy gear. Ghost Ridge might want it...

So now, I have a shaved head and chin, and the epic tale of the tire is done....

and it's almost 3 bloody AM, and I can't sleep due to coughing my lungs out. WHEEEE!!!!

VCON Day 1, part 2: The Book Launch

The dealer room closed at 7. All the dealers tidied up for a few minutes, and left the room to be locked up for the night.

By the time that was all done, I had a bit less than an hour to waste until the book launch. I don't want to send the wrong idea, it's not as if it was some huge gala event just for Watching Yute. Every year VCON has this event, where Authors of any sci-fi books released in the last year are invited to come and talk about their book.

Last year, I found out 2 weeks before the event that I'd be expected to do a reading. After the little panic attack, I carefully chose a passage from Lifehack, and did some practicing. It was going to go awful, I just knew it. But I was 'ready'.

And then the readings were canceled, due to unfavorable acoustics at the lounge. It turned into a 'meet & greet' casual thing. It was a disappointment and relief.

This year, (new location, BTW) I hadn't gotten an invite to the launch, but was ready. I had joined a couple meetup groups, at which I was asked to do a little reading. I was semi-prepared.

At the first one, I chose a melancholy passage form the perspective of Watching Yute's heroine, Cassidy. This was a mistake. Between my nerves, lack of a female voice, and the fact that it's a section better ready to one's self quietly, it just didn't come off well. The group was supportive though. I wormed my way to having a 2nd reading. I chose a section of one of the antagonists, Jacob Kirison, trying to fight his paranoia when meeting with a mafia contact.

Here, my rattling nerves proved an asset. The reading didn't go perfect, but it went a lot better. Kirison's generally a jittery fellow, and I used most of my fumbles as part of it, and pressed forward.

At the next meetup with a different group, I did Kirison's bit again. It went smoother. I 'acted' a bit. My errors were secondary to the fun.

Now I was at VCON's book launch, with red bull coursing through me, and no idea if there'd be a reading. I bought a horribly overpriced cuba libra from the 'bar cart' that the hotel had running there. It was twice what I expected to pay, and half the alcohol. I chattered with professor Whovianart, and a few others. One person, I feel bad I don't remember her name... she invited me to a convention party afterwards for Canadian sci-fi writers, but I knew my time would be really tight by the time the launch was over. I was expecting a 2 hour transit ride, and I didn't know what time they buses stopped out on the destination end of the trip.

Some time after I had given up on the idea of a reading, someone walked up to the front, where there was this stage-ish long table with a podium, and suggested to the room that the authors should come up and talk/read a bit. Alright, it was on.

I didn't know what kind of order the authors should go in, so in my typical aggressive style, I waited patiently and listened to others.

One lady was a representative of a local publisher. She got up there and thanked a long list of people, listed books, and prattled on. I was a little confused, she didnt fit into the flow that the room had going. We'd been listening to writers get up there and represent their own brain-children. This didn't feel like the venue for what she was doing. Just when I thought she was wrapping up, she introduced a paid actress, who was going to be doing a reading from a book who's author wasn't there.

I have no idea what the reading was, I was a little lost in a cloud of WTF. That sounds aggressive, but... I just didn't get it. When she wrapped up, people around me nudged me to get up there. Alright. Alright, I'd better go to it.

By the time I crossed the room, a graphic novelist was at the podium already. I forgot his name.. I'm horrible. He had the table across from me last year. Nice meek fellow. I don't think he was planning on a reading, and struggled valiantly to read a graphic novel story without the audience seeing the pictures. He did a good job for being on the spot, but next year, maybe he should see about a projector screen or something.

Alright. My turn at the podium and the microphone. Up the steps, and.. oh. Hm. Wheelchair. I sat below, in front of the podium and stage, and promised to read with my big-boy voice. Two words into reading, someone marched up from the back of the room. "Nah, can't hear ya in the back." and a mic was wrenched from the table, into my hand.

Jacob Kirison came to life once more, fuelled by taurine and nerves. Some time before I got to the line "What?! Why not?!", I was really into it, I was acting it the way I heard it in my head when I wrote it. (FYI, what I read was the Kirison sections from the experts I have on my page, here.)

When I went back to my 'seat', someone peeked over my shoulder to get the title of the book, soon returning from the little sales table looking for a signature for the book. Yaaay!

It wasn't long after that that the launch event was thinning out. I had a bus to catch. As it happened, on the last leg of my journey, I'd be on the 2nd last available bus, and I'd be waiting an hour for it... I might have gotten the 3rd last bus, but on the way out of the launch event, I was stopped in the hall.

"Hey, hold up, you're next, okay?"

Who am I to argue with a TV camera crew? They were interviewing some lady I didn't know. I knew the interviewer though, kind of. Before the launch event, I spotted a guy with a really cool wrist.. bracelet.. thing. It was pretty punk, and would have gone well with my costume bits. Yeah, I was still wearing it. Keep in mind, it's a bit hazardous- though I didn't look as freakish as I will by the time Halloween comes around.

So, the interviewer recognized me and tagged me for a spot. A spot on what? I have no idea. It seems like could have just been a student project, but once again, who am I to argue with a camera crew?
"So, introduce yourself!"
"I'm Joseph Picard!" Was I feeding off his energy, the red bull, or the good reading? In any event, he joked,
"I'm Joseph Picard, he says, as we should already know!" Well of course, aren't I famous yet?

He asked about the costume bits I was wearing, and about what I was doing.

"... and I just did a reading from my new book in there...!"
"Wow! How'd that go?"
"Well, it's hard to be objective, but I think I did pretty good..!"
"Oh! Listen to him and the false modesty! You nailed it didn't you? Yeaaah, you nailed it!"

Hehe, I wish I knew who that guy was, I wouldn't mind a copy of that vid.

That wrapped up, I had to get my transit-unfriendly costume bits safely into the dealer's room. I went to the 'HQ desk' of the convention. Three people were behind the tables, the one on the left partly hidden in shadow. I rolled up and got to the point.

"Hey, I need to get into the dealer room.."
One of one on the right piped in. "Dealer room closed at 7."
"Well, Jeff said I could get in to drop stuff off after the launch, and if he wasn't around, to find Danielle, i think her name was, and-" I blithered on a little bit. The partly hidden figure on the left stood, and waved a keycard for the dealer room.
"That's Danielle." the guy on the right said.

Yeah, she was sitting there all along, and between the low lighting and my fatigue, I didn't see it. She looked a little tired too, which was understandable- she runs the friggin con.

With my transit-hostile costume bits stored safely, I began the longest trip home of the weekend, between pushing my chair uphill to burrard station while already tired, and waiting an hour in coquitlam for the 2nd last bus home, I was spent. And glad I didn't succumb to the temptation to go to that party. Next year, get the hotel room.

I ended up getting into bed at 2:30 or so, and had the alarm set for 6 am. I woke up at 5, and couldn't get back to sleep. I was still tired as heck, but also hyper as heck. It was an odd mix that would get me through saturday... with some assistance from taurine.

Yute in 'post pruduction'. And I need sleep.

My darlin lil girl Caitlin has managed to con me out of a LOT of sleep in the last 2 weeks, and the last day and a half have been the icing on the cake. I'm so tired I got some messed up 2nd wind, got re-tired, and re-vitalized, and now I may be a member of the undead.

Well, the Yute manuscript is in the hands of the first of 4 volunteer editors, (my dad, Gill) I've been working on some of the promo gear.. bookmarks, signs... and I need a punchy tagline...

Lifehack had something like:

She lost her brother,
She learnt to fight a legion of the dead,
Scavenging to survive for two years.
And then, to make things difficult,
She fell in love with a straight girl.

That worked pretty good. People would walk by, skimming past the first part, all pretty cliche, until they hit the last line, and I could see their faces turn to curiosity. Awesomesauce.

I need a short, short blurb like that for Watching Yute. Key elements that would summarize without spoilers are:

-lesbian hero (Quite different from Regan, FYI)
-Nanites at work (secretly) in some un-specified manner
-Revenge (though I really dont wanna use the WORD revenge of vengence, cuz it sounds too cliche)

it might also mention starting a new life, a violent man, or a coward covering his butt. I think that's plenty to work with... So far I have stuff like:

"She found a new girlfriend at a new position, but secretive nanites are attracting the eye of some violent men"

I dunno... that's not BAD, but I have time to refine it.. any ideas? I might turn this into a contest to announce on the forums, with a copy of the book for a prize.... I dunno.

I need sleep. Why aren't I sleeping? I. Hurt. I'm that tired. And I'm hot. Sweating the kind of sweat that stings your eyes. Am I whining? Yes. Are blogs with whining annoying? Yes. Is that going to stop me? Ehh.....