Tuesday, October 2, 2012

VCON 37 (2012) is over. Spoilers: I lived.

I'm back home, and my body has realized that it needs food and sleep, and things to drink that aren't powered by taurine.

That's not fair, body. On friday I had a Cuba Libre. That's got coka cola, rum, (WHICH IS A BURNABLE  SOURCE OF ENERGY, stupid body!) and a lime slice. Limes are fruit. So.. healthy!

But I'm skipping ahead a little.

I arrived at the hotel, ferried by my wife, who fled in terror as soon as my cargo was at my table. Farewell, my wife, tell the children to be good and shut up. I mean,  go to bed, dammit. I mean, I love them. But only if they shut up and go to bed. O WAIT, not my issue for a few days. Ok, Michelle, just tell them I love them.

I thought I was there way earlier than need be for the noon openeing of the vendor's room, but spare time has a habit of somehow eating itself.

Part of my setup was placing this lass:

With about 8 little green army men facing her, and a write-up under her that read:

OUR FUTURE


IN THE DAYS AND THE YEARS AFTER THE BROKEN ATOM RAVAGED OUR WORLD, THE FORCE KNOWN ONLY AS “THE ONE PERCENT” RALLIED ARMIES OF UNHOLY CREATIONS, SUCH AS THE “TRUST FUND MAXOTAUR”.
THE REMAINING SURVIORS MUST FIND A WAY TO OPPOSE THESE ABOMINATIONS, OR PERISH.

WILL YOU BE ALONG SIDE THE HEROES?

Or are you just going to stare at the Maxotaur's udders?


Note the little dog companion behind her as a nod to Paris Hilton. The photos don't really show the blood smears on her that well. She was born of garage sale barbies, (thanks to my garage-sale huntswoman aunt Darlene) and various packrat items that I found in my "this might come in handy one day" drawer.

In the course oft he con, she garnered many reactions, from outright laughs, to a little girl who stared at it unblinking. I could see the gears in her head going, but was it the thoughts of future psychotherapist's boat payments, or...? Then her mother leaned in close to her and said, "No, you can't try that at home."

VCON attracts a twisted sort of kid. In a couple years, my own lil' rat may be among the ranks.. Oh wait, there was this pic from shortly before I left for the con....


.... this pic kind reminds me of Firely's Kaylee.. give or take my "PAULDRONS OF OZERO!!!"

Speaking of which, I guess I need a picture of myself, as I appeared at the con. Thanks to Steve Fahnestalk, who already got some pics up on FB, here's me...!


Next year I'll go in a double-breasted suit and tie. That'll freak the regulars right out. Okay, I guess I have to explain myself for those unaware, here's the history that led up to this mess:

  • My friend Ryan throws great halloween parties
  • Some years ago, I rediscovered Rammstein.
  • Having done cruddy or no costumes for many years, I spearheaded the creation of those shoulder pads, and did my hair like that. My costume ended up a lot like that, except swap the glasses for welding goggles, nix the feathered boa, and the orange slice gummy impaled on one of the spikes.
  • during the party, someone stuck bunny ears on me. It was an unexpected, yet welcome addition which softened the otherwise wannabe-aggressive look.. which just isn't my personality.
  • In my first, or maybe second VCON outing, I took the shoulder pads. They were kinda a hit, and ended up becoming tradition.
  • This year's con had the theme of post-apocolyptia, so I well the full 9 yards, and did the hair again. The feather boa was a substitute for the bunny ears, which weren't mine to begin with.

Note: the boa and hair have a whole other backstory of their own, but I'll save that for another time.

So my neighbour in the vendor's room was ... arg, I can't guarantee her name! I'm horrid! After some research, I think it was http://www.etsy.com/shop/madmrsrochester. It was her first convention, and was understandably a bit pensive. I gave her the newbie's speech. (more on that a little later)

A dapper young man, (I call him such, as he's in my age group, and I refuse to grow up, so he's young by that logic) with a hat shows up, looking a little displaced. Noah found the table he was to set up on to be populated by paintball people. He spent a lot of time standing around waiting for things to get sorted out. I respected his patience, but he said something to the effect of "Well.. you know... Canadian." Yup, been there. Too patient for my own good.

This stand and wait interval was also my chance to give him a revision of my speech for newbies, as mentioned above. It goes something like this-
"This is Friday. Expect nothing. If you make a sale or two, dandy, but this is recon day. Most of the people coming today are just looking around. And a lot of people work until five or six, and not many people rush right from work to a convention."

Then I tell them how Friday is the 'dead' day, Saturday is the big day, and Sunday is respectable, and when the 'orbiters' come to roost; people orbiting the con all weekend finally picking up stuff they've been looking at but delaying.

This formula worked really well the first few years I did VCON, but last year it went all to heck, and this year was kind of randomized as well. It's not just me and my lack of new books. Every vendor I spoke to agreed. Or maybe it IS just my books... maybe I've envoked some kind of curse with 2 years of not having a new book.

Maybe next year, I'll have a new book, and bring life and order back to the room, as Excalibur in the hand of Arthur brought life and order back to Britain!

So the day went on, Gabe showed up, already aware that I had nothing new. Plotbunny showed up, lots of the regulars. Oh, I did have something new on my table worth mentioning!

A friend of mine, Kelly Pieterse sells a variety of charms jewellery and doodads. She asked me how I thought her stuff would fare at VCON.. only one way to find out! She supplied me with her 1x2 display filled with buttlecap charms I could put on a necklace cord or a keychain. Here's a pic of my table after I had everything set up. Her stuff in on the right, upper-ish area.. dang, I need a closeup for y'all.


Next entry, continuing day one: Getting out of the vendor's room, checking out my digs, the book launch event, vamps after the end of the world, and lounging with the big kids! Ooh, maybe some people's costume pics, too!