Rubberman's Exodus is at 30%... and what's with my series' consistency?

I've been fortunate enough that the majority of reviews for my books (as few as they have been compared to many books) have been positive. By one means or another, (and/or an updated cover) my first book remains my most popular.

Among the handful of reviews that are not-so-positive, pops up a notion now and then that "It started out good, and then..."

Yeah, I get that, I can see why that can happen. Lifehack was born from a set of four not-so-short stories. In the first one, our hero is mostly alone, doing a typical survival v zombies thing.

After the first quarter of the book, (passing from story 1 to story 2) she is basically rescued, much less alone, no longer living in that oppressive claustrophobic threat that seems to be a mainstay of typical zombie fare.

Around here, there's a bit of a shift into ROMCOM territory. And people looking for a ZOMBIE BOOK... are prone to get turned off. The other side of the coin is that people not really into general zombie stuff have really enjoyed it.

I warn people as such... "If you're a big zombie book fan, this isn't it." I don't dwell on gore nearly as much. It's there, it impacts our hero, but I don't feel the need to run the readers' faces in it.

The tonal shift from the first quarter to the rest of the book comes down to the book not being grounded in one consistent theme in some ways. First-book-itis, maybe.

This inconsistent tone is also reflected in the Lifehack series as a whole. The following book, Watching Yute, is drastically different. There are some zombies in it, but they barely muster a side-story, with the nanotech aspect being the bigger threat.... and in much more subtle/tangential ways. The book is also a huge downer, on purpose. I love it, it wrecks me. But it's a HARD turn from the hijinks of LIfehck

Then the series caps off with Echeos of Erebus. The hijinks get ramped back up a bit, the depressing bits get toned down, and we end up with a sort of balance of action/drama between former 2 books, Then glaze it with extra nanites.


As a series, my first 3 books weren't planned very well. I still like the books, and the world they formed, but it didn't help foster a readership that could justifiably be off-put by the drastically shifting tone from one book to the next.

AS SUCH- the Rubberman series was planned and laid out from the start with a skeletal framework that could host several stories that felt more consistently .... related to each other. As I write book 3 of Rubberman, (Rubberman's Exodus) there is going to be a dramatic shift- but it was planned all along. I've just passed what will probably be the 1/3 mark in the book, and I'm writing the beginning of that shift.

10 years down the road, will I be seeing reviews saying "Huh, Exodus started OK, but..."? Well, too bad. Can't please everyone. And there HAS to be some shifts in tone. Consistency for consistency's sake would be dull. Rubberman's Citizens is a little bit of an outlier from the bulk of the series, with a handful more action, and taking place mainly in one section of the series' 'geography'.

There's a balance to be had. Will the balance I settle on please everyone?

Absolutely not.

Will my next series have a balance that pleases everyone?

 Absolutely not.

Am I going to let that keep me up at night?

Guess.

.

The appeal of Zombies

My first book deals heavily in zombies, and the following two don't shy away from them either. It's understandable if at first glance, people assume I'm a huge zombie fan. I'm kinda not. If you read Lifehack, you'll find it's not like a typical zombie book or movie. Lifehack isn't entirely about survival.. about a quarter of the book plays like that, but can you name the last Romero-styled movie that escalated into airstrikes on a dragon?

Seriously, name one. If there's one I missed, I wanna go see it. Otherwise, I'll go on assuming Lifehack is unique in that aspect. (as well as a handful of other aspects, of course)

Still, when Jersey's "the Star Ledger" called out about "The psychology of ... Zombies!" I felt I had to answer:
----

When the hero of my first book [Alisia] first hit the page [as art], she needed a target. Not wanting to kill innocents, I thought, "Hey, what's a threat I can shoot the **** out of, and not feel guilt?" I considered robots, but zombies won out. Robots are too potentially powerful, and from a writing perspective, it's hard to draw a line in what they can do- and readers are likely to draw their own limits on what a robot can and cannot do. It's a far too easy fallback to say "Yeah, you just beat 100 robots... but now.... HERE'S ONE WITH A BIGGER LASER!!!! OOOOOOH!!!"

Zombies have limits, they are pretty well defined. Sure, now we have fast ones, but on the whole, if you see a zombie, you know what you're in for. Does that make them less of a threat? No, that's the trick. They're like you and me... that alone is a threat. And they're relentless, tireless, and hungry. The more you think of a person maniacally trying to bite into your flesh... at first you think of an angry little kid biting. Yeah, that can leave a mark... but make it an adult who wants more than to hurt you, and have the strength to tear parts of you away. To pull your familiar, comfortable body apart, bit by bit.

Now give this guy a couple hundred buddies that all want the same thing. Suddenly you're the last tray of nachos in the stadium.

Right now, guarantee for me that there isn't a zombie outside your house. There isn't? Did you look? Are you wondering? We know there isn't, of course there isn't. But doesn't a part of you want to give a teeny little glance? Did you smirk at your fence? How long would that fence stop them, you wonder? Hey, there's a mop nearby, would it... no, a shovel would be better.

Suddenly, you're casting yourself in a zombie survival fantasy. It's real enough that anyone can get wrapped up in it. When the musing is done, you chuckle to yourself, or thank that it's not happening.

It isn't, is it?

Did you look outside?

Just a quick peek? For me? We have to stick together.

3rd editions launched!

Kindle, Paperbacks, and Hardcovers of all three books, Lifehack, Watching Yute, and Echoes of Erebus. They're all out now.

The paperback prices have been cut to 14.95... why? Just cuz 15.95 was stupid.

What's new in the 3rd edition? More spells for clerics, and.. no.. wait... A few typos removed, descriptions for Yute and Lifehack re-written, and a little mention of "Rubberman's Cage" coming soon in the back.. which means I'm officially committed to finishing that sucker!

And each book now has at least 20 pages of XXX lesbian erotica.

Did I fool ya? Nawwwww, there isn't. There's no real reason for people who already have em to re-buy em or anything, I'm just glad to have em out there! (ebook people might be allowed to get fresh versions free.. I'm not sure how that works...)

Oh, and at the ed of June, I'll be free of my KDP Select contract, and will be allowed to spread back onto createspace and other outlets.

Now... I was talking about serializing the books into little ebooks... I'm not super keen on that at this point, tho the notion of a huge uber-tome containing all three books is still kinda attractive...

Oh, and somehow I now have a kinda-fanclub that some ladies started on FB called "The Dicktree Girls". Like.. they're making themselves tshirts... they're kind of centralized on a graphic I released that's going to be part of the back cover for Rubberman's Cage...

it... it's kinda hard to explain... I don't quite, quite get it myself.

Regan blogs.

Kay, Regan's been on my mind a lot for random reasons lately, and when I got the 'Fantasies' Album by Metric, well, she's just not leaving me alone. She also wants the lead singer's outfit.

Metric indeed rocks. If you ever liked Garbage of Republica, Metric's worth a look. I 'discovered' them via the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack, as Metric made the song sung by 'Clash at Demonhead'. Metric's lent music to a pile of other movies too, including Zombieland, and (gag) Vampire diaries, and.. a pile more. TV too. Grey's Anatomy off the top of my head. They're soooOOOoooOOOoo indie mainstream it hurts. So does that sentence. It's okay, they're Canadian.

Anyway, Regan asked me if she should start her own blog, and I told her that was stupid, and that fictional people can't have blogs, so she threw a plastic bowl at me, but apologized repeatedly before the thing came to a stop on the floor. So, as a token of peace, I told her should could post on my blog, as long we didn't confuse anyone. That said, here's Regan:

Hi world! Any of you who heard about those pirates who came to my house- don't worry. I haven't heard a peep from any other jack***es since then, and I ordered some fun stuff to make any future problems.. well, less of a problem. What kind of toys? I'm in international waters, so use your imagination.

I was a little surprised that 'Leesh gave my order such a quick thumbs up, but I think she's still feeling protective or guilty or whatever because she wasn't here to help when it all happened. That said, I have to say I kicked some considerable bumbum. I hadn't seen that much action since Meston. I haven't decided what's worse- zomzomz, or having to put lead into live humans to defend myself.

Whatever, it's over. 'Leesh says she wants me to come with her when she goes mainland to teach from now on. I did when she first started those seminars at Yute Central, but I was un-invited after a couple.. incidents. One weepy 'Leesh later, and now I'm back on the Yute trips. But nowhere near the classroom. Erp. CONFERENCE ROOM, Excuuuuuse me. I bought her a pair of fake glasses and a pointer, so she can be 'hot teacher', but the glasses reminded me of Kris.
Elle. Oh. Elle. Once I stopped laughing, we chucked em out.

Speaking of BitchyMcBitcherson, she's coming over for a weekend later in the month. Her and Parker. It'll be awesome to see him again. But I should resist calling Kris names. IT'S JUST SO MUCH FUN! 'Leesh said I should stop using her as my, 'Token Evil Bisexual Bitch'. Lawl, WHY? We need an icon like my T.E.B.B. to show us the difference between evil bisexuals and good ones!

Hint: The good ones are redheads, and MINE.

Free Ebooks, march 6-12

RE100. That's the coupon code to use here, to get any of my books free in a pile of different formats. Why?? It'll be "READ AN E-BOOK WEEK" and hey, I'm feelin silly, as I'm currently jacked up on taurine! WHEEEE!!!

That's Lifehack, Watching Yute, and/or Echoes of Erebus, free ebooks if you don't dawdle!

So, yeah, 'bout my knee. And Johnnicakes.

Minor thing first, anyone playing LittleBIGplanet 2 needs to go play my new level, Echoes of Erebus 1, http://lbp.me/v/xt2s1r/photos the first in a set of levels based on my latest book. More to come.

So, my knee.. It's pretty much healed now, but I've been meaning to do a blog with the whole thing for a while now. The less I'm in ye accursed brace, the less I'm interested, and have come to the realization that (as with most blog posts around the world) most people don't care about the details much either.

So here they are. :)

In the line of duty for my (new? Not so new now, I guess) job, I run (wheel) to the bank to get cash to refill the office petty cash box. The amount in total for a month is often... petty. But I, and Johnnicakes, a higher up I've never seen or spoken directly to* likes if the numbers all return to standard at the end of a month. This is not always easy. My 8 hrs a week, plus the boss out of the office a lot on appointments can make it hard to get signatures for things sometimes. Also, I'm marginally incompetent. :P

On my 2nd month making this trip, I tripped. If by 'trip' you mean that something on my wheelchair decided that the little cutout from a pedestrian triangle-o-crossing to the road was too bumpy. My chair decided to stop. My body did not. Out I go.

I landed on all fours. My hands were quite happy to be in my wheeling gloves. Kevlar n everything. No problem there. My knees landed in a very organized way, and no damage was immediately apparent. I knew there'd be bruising though.

For my dignity, I righted myself to be seated on my knees. It was a very purposeful looking pose, one that a person might do if they didn't want to sit right on a floor. Huh. Okay, now what? I never got the hang of getting myself into the chair from the floor. Not with the resources available to me here. A couple teenage girls across the street were looking at me. Oh look, resources!

"Uhm, girls? Help, I guess!" They made their way across, and one held out her hand as if I could just take it and be helped to my feet. "Heh, thanks, but I think it's going to take a little more than that." They were a little at a loss. I mean.. I'm not BIG BIG, but I'm not a lightweight either. And let's face it- your typical teenage girl is no powerhouse.

That's when from out of nowhere, two grown-ups showed up. One said she was a nurse, the other was just a big guy with a sufficient level of burliness.
I was soon (if not gracefully) back in the chair. The nurse kind of wanted to call me an ambulance, but I felt okay. More or less. Still shaken all the heck from the fall, shaken enough to last most of the day. But I had work to do. On I went to the bank. On the way back to the office, the skies opened up on me. It wasn't long before I was drenched. I was taking my time to find the best, smoothest way around any little obstacle.

When I was about a block and a half from the office, a happy homeless looking guy saw me and ducked around the corner. He was hiding, but VERY badly.WTF. Well, that's not a "I'm gonna mug you in broad daylight" kind of face. I made eye contact from under my hood, dripping wet.

He pops out and says "Oh! Sorry! I though you were uncle Pete! I was gonna surprise you!"

PETE?! For those of you unfamiliar with Maple Ridge's favorite homeless man, ole' Pete, is a quiet fellow who's been spotted shambling miles around. He's been in and out of the system, and most of the time when he's spotted, he's filthy as you could imagine, and often smelling as bad. A few years back, he lost his lower legs (as rumour tells us, frostbite) and is now in a wheelchair. But to the point-

I WAS MISTAKEN FOR PETE?!

Insult to injury anyone? I got back to the office, dripping down the hall, and I made my way to my wife's office, where she and a co-worker share space. They saw me and both burst out laughing. "YOU'RE DRENCHED!!!" Thanks ladies. I didn't care too much about being drenched, I was still trembling from my fall.

Fast forward to the next morning. Getting dressed, I noticed.. yeah, my knee was swollen really bad. No shock. I went on with my day. Next morning it was less swollen, so I figured everything was okay.

Fast forward to six days after the fall. I'm at GF strong for an unrelated meeting, when I tell the tale of the fall. The physio gal I was there to see wanted a peek at my knees.

"Oh. Oh wow, that's really swollen! And the colour's no good at all!"
"Colour?" I hadn't noticed much, it's pretty dark when I get dressed, I guess.
"I'm just going to see if there's a doctor handy. Yeah, Doctor K is just across the hall."

Um. Doctor K? Did he try to kill James bond once?

Doctor K and his deep, awesome russian accent come along. He takes one look at my knee. "Ack! When did this happen?"
"About a week ago."
"ACK! No, no, no, no, no."

Soon enough, he'd called 911 on me. Sure, I'd been feeling bad for that week, and I threw up in the driveway once, but the whole house was combating the flu!... yeah, so maybe masses of misdirected pain might have been causing some problems too. Before the ambulance came, DR. K had lined me up with various unrelated medical tests that he figured It had been too many years since I'd been checked out.

I spent that night in the ER, had 3 various scans done of me and my knee, and was given WCB forms and a knee brace. (They try not to give casts to people who can't feel the affected area to avoid undetected pressure sores) This brace was only meant to prevent my knee from straitening out completely. Yeah, it wasn't my knee exactly that was broken, it was the knee-end of my femur that had a fracture. And I had to wear that thing all the time, except for showers.

While I was being carted around for scans in a bed, I got to see many old familiar ceilings that I'd seen in 2001, when I was hit. I got to appreciate the tiling more, as I was not on a morphine IV this time.

Now I'm down to only having to use the brace 'when my knee is at higher risk'... which.. Yeah, I'll be sure to tell my football coach. So, I wear it to work. Meh.

That's not my knee brace, but it's close. It's definitely not my leg.

----

*Johnnycakes. Johnny is the head beancounter of the organization. I fax things to him. I get emails form him asking for more. I was told his verbal english isn't so hot, and that I'm better off communicating via email. I'm pretty good with accents, but I find email better for businessy stuff anyway. The end result is that Johnny has become some sort of financial boogeyman.

Fill that form in right! Get that signature! Calculate the deductible correctly, or the wrath of Johnny shall descend upon us all! So where does the name 'Johnnicakes' come from? It's not his fault, he didn't EARN it for any reason. In the LBP levels based on Lifehack, I have a few silly spin-off levels focusing on tormenting the character "Jonathan Coll". His tormentor enjoys referring to him as Johnnicakes. As a result, whenever I utter the name "Johnny", "Cakes" slips out now and then. Thankfully, as I mentioned, I never see Johnny face to face.

Lest the wrath of Johnnicakes descend up us all.

Cold Nos summons Regan Grier

I found out today that cold Nos conjures Regan. When I'm getting to know my characters, I ... not-so-intentionally create a bit of an imaginary friend to talk with, about things in their world.

Apparently, while Regan was 'with me' for Lifehack, I was in the middle of my Nos binge. Since then, I've had a Nos here and there, but generally, they'd spend a couple hours in my backpack before I got home with it, maybe left it on the desk for a day or more, and by then, it was very not-cold.

Today, my beloved bride brought me home a can of the stuff, and I broke it open fairly quick to help fuel a tedious session of cutting little bits of santa-themed bits of paper of my daughter's pre-school.

The smell of it reminded me of why Nos was no longer my favourite kind of energy drink. Nos may also be short for 'noxious'. The scent that still manages to heighten anticipation a little, so I took a sip.


Ding! Regan popped into my head, clear as a bell.

"Well, hello there, Regan."
"Hey dork. You gonna make that flash cartoon with me in it soon?"
"Yeah yeah, Regan. I don't have a ton of time these days."
"Aw COME ON, I'm a star, I need to get out!"
"You've been 'out' for a long time, miss."
"Ha, oh bloody Ha. Seriously, I'm stuck in your head, and there isn't even cable in here."
"Oh shush, I gave you cameos in two books now. It's not like you never get out."
"In one of them, I came off sounding like a total whiny bitch, and the other cameo was a little depressing, like that whole friggin book. Where's my X rated Alisia-wrestling book??"
"In your head Regan, just in your head."
"But if I'm in YOUR head, that means the X-rated Alisa wrestling in also in YOUR head."
"...... you just blow my mind. Or folded space. Or something."
"So.... porn for me?"
"Shut up, Regan."

That said, it was nice of her to visit. I've been busy enough with life in general, that my writing has gotten into a slump. My lack of homework for the writing guild, and my lacklutre chapter for a potential new book.. well... meh. Anyway, Regan's visit gave me a tiny morale boost, and maybe some new direction.

I'd also been meaning to blog about my recent adventures in public transit, big downtown hills, appointments to plan my next wheelchair, and TWO universities that have been using me as a guinea pig. But it's just not as interesting if you're not the one getting jabbed for blood. I accidentally signed up for 2 studies, thinking "yay for science"-

- but didn't plan on 3 hours of commuting in either direction, much less both studies wanting me in the same weeks. And GF strong. And of course work. Thank goodness for my mum, who's been doing a lot of babysitting. I haven't seen a ton of my own lil gal lately. I'm 'almost' done with the science. Yay. At least they like throwing some money at me.

VCON 35, 2010- Saturday, part 1- Return to the vendor room!

The vendor room was pretty much as we had left it. As far as my table went, except that my poster of Regan had fallen off the wall.

I had also laid down my display of books the night before, and moved flimsy things like bookmarks away form the edge, lest someone walk by and toss them asunder, so I had to set those up.

It didn't take long for the war of bookmarks resumed with Steve Fahnestalk, and for visitor flow to pick up better than any period of friday. With dry fruitloops now pumping into my veins, washed down by a little concentrated taurine poisoning, my lack of sleep didn't matter. It was party time!

Suddenly, Danielle Golden joined the party! Level ??? dual-wielding ranger:

I hope they don't mind me ripping this pic form their facebook gallery.. 'they' being the Border Guardians of Ackernon. She was there in costume, promoting their stuff! She impressed my aunt on friday, "Joey, there's this girl in this funny costume, she's cute, you should draw her!"

Okay, I figured my aunt had just run into her first cosplayer, but when I met Danielle, the pieces clicked together. We chatted for a fair while. Some time later, I heard someone nearby commenting on her awesome outfit, and I said "I KNOW, yeah? It makes me want to play her!... IN A GAME, I mean. In a game!"

I don't know if anyone believed me.

Many of the orbiters came around a few times, including Gabe, the young man seeking his destiny! A quest, an epic quest! - who I mentioned in a previous blog entry. He made me an offer I couldn't refuse... but I told him to be patient. One more day, and his destiny would be fulfilled. Assuming the U.N. didn't interfere.. more on that in coming blog entries..


In the end, there can be only one. Or something.

This was the longest and busiest vendor shift. Sales were decent, and I remembered to give away some nice juicy posters of my art when 1)they bought more than one book, AND 2)they looked like they might like one, AND 3)I remembered to offer.

It was always great to talk to people who'd read some of my stuff, and were up for the next book- be that the newest one, Echoes of Erebus, or they were a book behind, needing Watching Yute. Heck, two people bought all three at once. The first time it happened, I thought "Oooh! A hat-trick! My first ever! I wonder why this never happened at previous VCONs, c"... oh.. yeah.. I never had 3 books before. Fair enough.

Wanna know the devious sales tactics I had developed by mid-day? A person walking by glances at my table, and I tell them something like "Well, THERE'S the hardened stare of someone seeking a free bookmark!"

About half the people would grab one. Among the other half were people who politely declined, and a very minor ..ùh.. minority who ignored me. Among those who grabbed them, (and I was always interested to see which of the 3 they would grab-tip blood catches the eye) most would read the bookmark, then look at the books.

As chatty as I am, I had to let them read the back of a book for a bit before yapping away. I'd then maybe mention, "Technically, they're a trilogy, but I went out of my way to make them all readable as stand alones.." and some discussion would normally start snowballing from there. When I realized I was doing a similar thing repeatedly, I felt like a bit of a shmuck.. but it started some fun discussions, and the odd sale.. so who am I to complain?

Next post: The after events- My visit to the gaming room, the party with the SciFi Canada crew, and the dance..!

VCON 35, 2010- Friday, part 3- Book Launch

So, during the first vendor day, I'd handed over 2 copies of each book to Walter, (Was it Walter? I'm pretty sure...) of White Dwarf Books. He's a retailer, and each year, he sets up a table a the annual 'Book launch event', where people can grab books being pitched at the event. This leaves the authors free to shmooze, and not carry around books, looking desperate to make sales. Walter gets a cut, which hey... that's okay.

Three years ago, I was invited to the launch event for the 2nd edition of Lifehack. I was told I would be doing a reading. In public. Out loud. To humans. Live.

eep.


And I didn't have many days to prep for that. That first 'book launch' event was terrifying. I showed up, I asked Walter stupid questions, I chatted with a ton of people, waiting to be called up to read.. waiting for.. anyone to be called up to read. There was about ten authors in the crowd, all with new books within the last year. Alright, maybe I was cheating, only the 2nd edition of my book was launched in that year... but the VCON organizer didn't seem to mind.

And then it was announced that due to the noisiness of the room, readings were canceled. As disappointed as I was, I suddenly realized that I could now breathe. Good thing the reading was canceled too, I had some reading experiences shortly after that told me I was not ready.

Skip ahead a year. New venue, better acoustics. I showed up to chatter, not expecting to, but ready to read. I'd had some practice in writing meetup groups. No pro by any means, but good enough to not embarrass myself. Reading started late, but it went well.

Skip ahead to this year. The time got move to 7pm, right when the dealer room was closing. No loss, so I miss 5 minutes for the lengthy chatter period.

I'm looking for the launch event, expecting to find a lounge-like environment, with tables spread out like a cafe. I stick my head in one door, and see a room not much larger than a classroom, with dealer-like tables set up along the sides. Whoops, that's not right. I ask someone outside,

"Do you know where the book launch event is?"
"This is it."

Ya rly.

Kay. Um... so.. other authors are here with books set up like rushed vendor tables, all with a stack of their books in front of them. and here I am, no table. Oh, there's Walter over there. Walter's apparently only getting a cut off of me this year, I guess. No worries, really. I was more in WTF mode to care.

I looked for an empty table- there was none. I heard later that I was not the only table-less author in the room by any means. The lady who organized the event, I'm told, ran it 2 years prior. No one seemed that pleased with how the event was going. I can't remember the lady's name, she seemed nice enough, but ... this was a mess.

As it was, I had to email VCON a month beforehand to make sure I was INVITED to the book launch event, which I'd never had to do before. Maybe part of being lost in THAT shuffle was me missing a memo where the event had been turned into... something else. Ish.

Alright, enough pouting, lemonade time. I camped in a blank spot next to one of the tables, and met Geoff(rey W.) Cole. He was there representing a book he's contributed to, "The Blackness Within: Stories of the Pagan God Moccus". We grumbled about the muddy chaos that was the launch event, and the lack of readings. It turned out that he had a solo reading scheduled on sunday. I'd seen single-author readings in the VCON program, and wondered how a person got such a thing. I guess you just ask! At any rate, he'd been given the room for an hour, and wasn't sure if he could fill the time.. so.. HI! Why YES, I think I can fill up some time!

I sat at my invisible table for a while longer, handing bookmarks out as visitors made the rounds... There was a lot of people there, and it was noisy, but overall.. it felt like there was nothing going on. Maybe that was just my WTF still lingering.

Walter came by, giving up for the night, returning my books to me. He stated the obvious and told me there were no sales. I smirked and glanced around the room. He nodded. No shock, I didn't care. I wanted to do a reading, that was what I looked forward to at the launch event.

I didn't hear the announcement, but at some point, it must have been declared over, people started leaving en masse. Yeah, well, that was it. It was over.

Friday was unexpectedly slow in the vendor room, and this kind of felt like a bonus kick in the teeth. I could have been crashing someone's party or something. Heck, I could have gone and hung out in the gaming room, and check out what the D&D kiddies are playing these days.

Silver lining to the event? I had a reading anyway, on sunday, and met Geoff. Still.. overall, a realllly disappointing book launch event. With any luck, next year's will be better... and I won't have a new book to launch.

Piss on it. Day one wasn't a wash, but it felt pretty close at that point. It was okay, it was okay, the vendor room went good for a friday. Moving on.

Next post: The hotel room

VCON 35, 2010- Friday, part 1- Establish camp

This might take a few posts, the con was a blast.

October 1

I wake up. This annoying habit happens every day, but today the mission was different. As a parallelogram, a paralegal, a parenthesis, heck, a gimp, I had to pack a little extra gear for my 2 nights away from home. I had most of it all ready, as well as my books, the stuff for my table, posters, banners, and a handful of things I wouldn't need... but.. just in case..

I only needed help getting the cargo to the con, but my nominee for that favour was my dad, who made it his mission to make sure that I didn't have to face the evils of transit. This year, transit was a tad more favourable that previous years. VCON likes to settle in 3 hours from my home via transit, but this year it was going to be 2. But he was determined. My Aunt Brigitte joined the party, and we ended up using her car.

To those not in the know- Getting a paraplegic into any given car can be a challenge, depending on the car. But we got it working. I bit farewell to my darling Caitlin,

"What? You're still here, dad? GET LOST, ALREADY!!"

And we were off. A block later, our organizational skills were put under the microscope. "What do you MEAN it's in RICHMOND?"

Alright, alright, the V in VCON stands for 'Vancouver', but.. he never saw the address, and I had my plans written in transit instructions. No matter! Between the three of us, we could figure it out! We were one member short of of a Seinfeld re-enactment. I wasn't too fond of that show.

It wasn't that bad. Aside from 2 minute clusters of panic, separated by 20 minutes at a time of holding our breath, we finally got there. Never having been issued a map of the convention venue itself, (VCON info can be hard to track down...) getting to the vendor room was an extra little cap off to the navigation fun. The con was actually held in two neighboring hotels. Upon finding the room, the tables were not yet all set up.

Jeff, (an ex bouncer, no less) who's been an organizational asset to VCON for at least as long as I've been going... (probably a lot longer) Anyway, Jeff sees me and my crew coming. He knows I was looking for a table that was at an end, so my getting in and out wouldn't mean trashing my wheelchair through someone else's stuff. I got a table right inside the door visitors would pass by, and with a wall to my back. Score. Couldn't have picked better, really.

I put my big black box of doom onto the end of the table. The fellow setting up the table for 'Atomic Fez Publishing' asks me, "No spikes this year?" He was referring to these:

I attended VCON last year with those goggles and spiked shouderpads. The hair, face-blood and bunny ears evolved later that month.. But I didn't want to wear all that to the con. I wanted to appear.. a TINY bit professional... I guess..

When he asked about the spikes, I smiled, and tapped on the big black box of doom. Until that moment, I wondered if I'd even be bringing them out. Steel-belted chafing aside, I'm glad I did.

I got my stuff spread out- this big poster of Alisia on the table, serving as a colourful 'placemat' to the books. One tower of the three, completing the design on the spines...

Then a semi-circular array of each book showing its front, angled like reflectors feeding sunlight back to the central collector. In the space between, I laid down each book face down, inviting people to pick em up, and read the back. I set up a couple other posters on the handy wall behind me, like Regan and an eye-catching one of Alisia.

BC Chains' Kevin (Kevin? I think..) was set up all the way across the room. I'd have to raid his little treasure chest of candy when I got my VCON bucks. A lot of familiar faces from the last 2 years were in effect. The first time I went to a VCON, it felt like a family of nerds, and that notion becomes more apparent every year. Lets save us both some time. If you wanna see a list of 'the gang', look here. A couple are new, a couple are missing from previous years, but yeah. Well timed lent tape, nods and chatter as the last bits were being put into place. It was 1pm. We were now 'on'.

Next post: Friday, part 2- Rehearsal.

VCON! OCT1-3, I WILL BE THE MUST-SEE!

Friday, Friday Friday!!

My table in the vendor's room will not only be home to my 3rd novel, "Echoes of Erebus", the previous two novels, "Lifehack" and "Watching Yute", but two unexpected things will be there too!

LIVE and unedited, I will be creating! What, you may ask? Hardcore porn? Summoning dead prophets from a variety of religions? Rationalizing glittering vampires? NO! I'll be scribbling out an outline map of my next novel, a so far untitled non-sci-fi about a guy who plays with blood! He's a nice guy, honestly. I'm not being sarcastic. I'll be doing this on big paper, and I may break out in sketches from time to time.

Also, I will be showcasing my great invention! I won't give away any spoilers, but it will revolutionize combat and/or culinary arts in this century!

Books inbound, website tweak, and radom rants bout the bat signal, and Regan.

No, Regan doesn't get a bat signal. I have a lot of stupid things to say, but one basic bit of housekeeping to do:

Hardcovers and softcovers are waiting for me at the end of their postage adventure. I expect the hardcovers in my hands this week sometime, and the softcovers on friday. You locals who pre-ordered through me can expect a call/email soon. The rest of the world will (as foretold) have to either order off the net, or hope I have leftovers from my personal supply after VCON at the start of october. I have the first copy of the final thing, and it is purdy.

Oh, and a tweaked the background of the website a little. Now with CABLES. Whee! Might add a little LED trim to them later. We'll see.

Ok, stupid thing #1- The batsignal. Iconic, classic. Stupid. What century are we living in? You're telling me that the easiest way to get a hold of Batman is the same as used by car dealerships to draw attention-deficit customers? Get a ****ing pager, Bruce! Yeah, yeah, it could potentially be traced and reveal his secret identity, but there's gotta be a hack around this crap. Are you telling me that a billionaire who can magically use everyone's cellphones to see everything everywhere, (LAME) is prone to the horrors of *69? (LAMIER)

The only reasonable excuse for the batsignal to still exist is to spook criminals. As Adam West once said to the commissioner, "Criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot."

So... yeah.

Stupid thing #2-
In Lifehack, I refer to Sgt. Parker as a 'puppy', in that he's well-meaning, innocent, and a little clueless at times. And loyal. He got his name originally from a puppy that I was babysitting for a month or so.

And I realized the other day, Parker isn't the puppy in Lifehack, it's Regan. Regan's tenaciously loyal, pretty clueless in a lot of ways, doesn't realize the world isn't all about her, well meaning, and she will metaphorically hump the leg of her chosen love, whether welcome or not. And not always so metaphorically, I suspect. For such a goofy character, she's aged well since Lifehack came out. I guess that's how she's talked me into making little appearances in Watchign Yute and Echoes of Erebus.

Not by humping my leg. She's a lesbian, and I wouldn't feel it anyway.


Stupid thing #3-
Scott Pilgim. Well, not Scott directly, but the kinds of realizations I've come to due to his influence. I've been listening to the movie soundtrack lately, and it's led me to think that Scott Pilgrim vs The World is the kind of movie that the Beatles would be making today.


-If the Beatles were a little less into peace and love, and a little more into punching stuff hard enough to toss them a few blocks away, for no apparent reason. Seriously. It's not even as if being stupidly strong is unusual, (except for vegans and cyborgs), and maybe that's part of SP's charm. The everyman is a superman. Every everyman. As said in an interview with one of the... uh.. was it the director? Edgar Wright.

"...a musical, but instead of people breaking into song when the emotion is too strong, they break out into fights."

-Which works bloody awesome. and the fights aren't even bloody. Sure, they're mad at each other when fists start flying, but there isn't the cruel suffering highlighted in many other action flicks. It's... fun violence. Okay, maybe it over-glamorizes violence, but until girls actually start to pull giant glowing mallets out of their handbags, we might be alright.

And for the record, I think the antagonist could use a movie all on his own. He's got a big backstory that's barely touched in the comic, but would make for a good story to tell.

Ehhh, I've gotten way off track. This week, I wanna be a crappy indie rocker in a crappy apartment downtown. Scott Pilgrim is just another blow, pushing me further along the slowly brewed midlife crisis that got put on the pot when I was 25.

Peace, man.

Michelle Rodriguez = Regan Grier

I'm still waiting for Joss Wheadon to get back to me about that Lifehack movie, but I have a casting suggestion for him. My gal Regan:

To be played by Michelle Rodriguez. Okay, I know nuthin about her other than seeing her on a movie ad on TV, (Machette) and what I learned from the google results page for her, but she's known for playing toughies. And Regan's a toughie. I guess I should watch one of her movies to see if she has any talent. Derp.

Anyone else have casting suggestions for Alisia, Parker and Kris?

I-Pad. Yeah, I'm there. So.. where is IT? I'll TELL YOU!

Most of you don't know that Lifehack and Watching Yute have been available on I-pad's own e-book store thingie. iBooks. Frankly, I dunno the details... (ahem)... I have people who take care of such trifling matters for me.

(again folks... no images get imported directly to my facebook notes, so maybe you need to start swinging by my actual blog... Ozero blog )

And I've just completed the necessary steps to get Echoes of Erebus into iBooks. So soon, you will be able to read all 3 of my novels on your iPad while your own cyberbutler pilots your around the world in your Tardis-Class Flying Hummer. Thankfully the iPad can be held in one hand, freeing the other to deftly freebase ground-up unicorn horn. Hopefully you can concentrate on reading while your team of genetically engineered sex-slaves pleasure you.

Wow... just wow. I didn't know unicorns could perform the heimlich.

I guess what I'm trying to say is- the iPad's a little pricey.

...

Echoes of Erebus behind the scenes peek-

Anyone wanna see the nitty gritty? I don't think there's any big spoilers here, but brace yourself.....


YEAH. MIND blowing, huh? Oh yeah, soak it in. (Those of you who are seeing this blog through facebook will have to go to my core blog, http://ozeroblog.blogspot.com/, to see it. Sorry. FB stinks at importing blogs...

So, yeah. See all that? I found this while 'cleaning' up my 'desk'. As far as I can tell, it's the first physical sign of this book being put into motion. Unless you count my old, old, "pre-Lifehack-as-a-novel" short story, which was the basis for the book in a lot of ways.

And what's with Quetzalcoatl? This was a 'free' notepad I customized. The customization didn't cost anything, so I dumped in the first silly thing that came to mind. Knowing about Quetzalcoatl (thank you, D&D) made me look like some arcane guru, and afforded me 15 seconds of fame in a trivia quiz at the Dueckman's monster-themed wedding reception.

Final Fantasy 8 had ole' Quetzy as a summon, and butchered him. Such is the least of my complaints about that game, but I'll avoid getting myself into a froth, and instead, point any fellow ff8 haters towards Mr. Spoony, whom I agree with 99.9% of the time. It's creepy....
http://spoonyexperiment.com/2007/04/04/final-fantasy-viii-review-part-1/
There's a huge set of these going through the whole game, and a pile of well-founded hate. Don't mind his ads, he's gotta make a buck somewhere.

Exploding Glitter Glue. (and Echoes status update)

Exploding glitter glue. Exploding glitter glue. Exploding glitter glue.

Wanna know what three words should never be uttered together? "Celine Dion album"?

(WTF happened here, Celine? Canada was already trying to distance ourselves from you.)

Yes, but also:

Exploding. Glitter. Glue.

My darling Caitlin convinced me it was painting time. We got to her little plastic easel. She brought out this bottle of glitter glue.

I hate glitter. It gets all over, and is a pain to clean up. And when you're done, you're still finding glitter peeking at you mockingly from previously innocent looking and/or cleaned surfaces for days. I avoid using glitter whenever I can, even if Caitlin loves the stuff.

Thankfully, we have a couple bottles of this glitter glue. The glitter is suspended in a colored glue. No dust ups possible. Brilliant! Lovely! she liked to get some on the page, then smear it around with a paintbrush. She couldn't generally squeeze out much from the bottle, so daddy has to help. Yes, fine. We started putting it in these little dishes that we has also been using for regular paint.

This works great! She gets her glitter fix, and I don't end up looking like I'd spent the night clubbing as a drag queen.
All is well, yes? The problem is, I'm not entirely sure where these glitter glue bottle came from. I'm not talking about China, and fears of chemical hazards for kids...

("Who you callin' a tool?")

No, I think these glitter glues were some kind of hand-me-down or something... a family member or family friend who had a bit of craft/art supplies they didn't have a use for, and kindly gave to Caitlin. Previously perhaps in a basement or garage for some time. Before that? On the shelf at Wal-mart or something for an untold time. Previous to that?

Oh yeah. China.

No escaping me, lazy western dog!

Know what happens to plastic when it gets old? It gets brittle. So, trying to make a good push on the bottle, SNAP! The bloody thing snapped right in half, and glittering, goopy doom erupted in all directions, like some clown's best impression of napalm. I took the brunt of the explosion, but somehow Caitlin didn't seem to get hit by a drop. To the left and the right of her, lots, but none on her that I could see.

Not to say she was unaffected.
She was startled, and staring at me, the mess in my hands and all around, wide eyed, quite ready to wail bloody murder. Until she looked around and realized the absurdity of it.

Due to cleanup efforts that BP could learn from, I no longer look like I slept with a nightmarish version of the patron slut in a dance club.


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I just realized that people who see my blog in facebook don't always get the inline images.. pity, that. Ozero blogger has em all in there if you didn't see any pics.

Echoes news time.

Hardcover- up and running.

Softcover- Final proof in the mail to me right now. Shortly after I get it, I play to authorize it to be sold online. It'll work its way into Amazon and such shortly after that.

Ebooks- up and running along side the hardcover. That's the nicest looking version of the ebook, but I'm busy converting one for smashwords, which has uglier, but a ton of formats for various readers... but the current PDF looks best, and MOST things read PDF.

Thassit folks!

Oh! And just another reminder that if you're local to me, and want one of my books, lemmie know before I make my big order, so I can get an extra softcover or hardcover for ya. ($15cdn and $25cdn when you get em from me, AND I'm paying the shipping from the printers) I'll have access to all 3 titles in this order, so if you've been meaning to get Lifehack or Watching Yute also... now's the time! Make a great gift! Cures acne! Scares away boogeymen!

Gathering an order...

I will soon have to make an order to stock up for VCON (Vancouver sci-fi convention) so if any locals, (people I see face-to-face) want in on the order, let me know ASAP, so my numbers for VCON don't get messed up.

I'll be ordering hardcovers and softcovers of all 3 books, Lifehack, Watching Yute, and Echoes of Erebus. If you don't tell me, you could be out of luck* or just be leaving me with less stock for VCON, depending on timing.

*out of luck would mean that I might not have much stock after VCON, which risks you having to order over the net- which means having to pay shipping, and US funds.

Anyone who can buy direct from me, in person, pays $15 canadian for tradepaperbacks, or $25 for hardcover. People buying over the net get stuck with US pricing, ($15.95us for paperback, and 24.98 for hardcover) and shipping costs on top of that.

Let me know within a week or mayyybe two weeks before I do my big buy!

It's done. Echoes of Erebus is done. -HEY LOCALS!!

The final cover and manuscript have been submitted for the softcovers. Phew. I KNOW they're set up right, the editing copy more or less proves it anyway.. but I don't think I'll be able to relax until I get the 'final proof'.

HEY, LOCAL READERS!

By this, I specifically mean anyone who lives close enough to get a copy right from me.

When I get the final proof, I'll be ordering my 'big batch', specifically aimed at the Vancouver Sci-fi Convention. (VCON). If you want a copy, (or copies) let me know SOON. When someone gets the book online, it'll be $15.95us, +shipping-

But any local who wants a copy can get em from me at $15.oo cnd with no shipping cost. I'm eating the shipping and exchange rate, like I did in the past.

On top of 'Echoes of Erebus', I'll also be refilling my personal stock of 'Lifehack' and 'Watching Yute', so if any of you want copies of those, let me know.

---

Whew.. Still feeling jumpy from sending in the final manuscript. Now I have to set up the ebooks and hardcovers.. OH YEAH, IF ANYONE WANTS HARDCOVERS, LET ME KNOW!

Whew. There's actually a lot less red tape involved with the ebooks and hardcovers. Once the softcover is set up, the others fall into place easier. I've only seen the softcover edit copy of Echoes of Erebus, but it's pretty. The hardcover's gonna be that much prettier. (and pricier, unfortunately.. $25 for hardcover)

Echoes of Erebus first draft nearing completion

I'm roughly forty pages away, and with no toddler around in the next week or so, I have a lot of opportunity to do it. I'm not saying it WILL be done in the next week, but it's very possible.

I have recently threatened to drop Sarah 17 stories, and chop her roughly in half. I'm not sure how she'd deal with those situations, and neither is she. Thankfully she managed to think her way out of both threats in fun ways. Right now I have her deep underground. She just dealt with a boobytrap and some Erebus-grade opponents,all while struggling with visibility issues. Light amplification won't help much when there's no light to amplify.

An 'Erebus-grade' creation comes in two varieties depending on the mood of the creator at the time. Effective, or 'unique'. Those two categorizations sometimes overlap, but an effective design will be re-used, making the creature much less unique. Case in point being the common zombie. Sure, you can do artistic things WITH zombies, but this often reduces their effectiveness.

The cover I posted last time has been changed... at least there's another draft in the mix now. Same general idea, but somewhat darker blues.

In other news, I ran into a review of Lifehack that I wasn't aware of before. It was pretty darn complimentary, and illustrates how I need to stop chasing after reviewers who I know to be tough as nails, and let some gentler readers have a crack at it now and then.

I've also been interviewed for another website, thought I'm not sure when it will be posted. You can bet I'll pop the link up when it happens!

I've gotten 'clearance' to do a signing event in a local coffee shop. I just need to pick my saturday, do a little promo work, and it'll be done. The manager was quite open to the idea... it makes me think I should try some other coffee shops, and do these kinds of things until I need to reorder for my personal stock.



In other other news, I just had a sneezing fit so violent, I now smell blood.
In other other other news, my cat is going bat-poopie insane, and just clobbered herself by running into a doorframe at mach 47.

"Soundtracks" to my books' "movies".

Ok, pure silliness here, but before I did the first signing for Lifehack, I collected a list of music that drove me during the writing, and fit the mood for several scenes. Lifehack had a lot of 80s and early 90s. Mostly rock, some pop. I played them in the background at the signing.

Watching Yute drew a lot more from 60s/70s rock. One scene in particular was 'written' in a dream where it played out over and over in slow motion to the tune of the Doors' "House of the Rising Sun". It turned out to be a huge turning point in the story. Frig, I'm listening to it right now, and it still chokes me up.. mainly because of the link in my head to that scene.
The ending of the movie has to quietly begin Rammstein's "Ohne Dich", as the camera pans out over the desert before fading to black and the credits.

This has me wondering what the soundtrack of Echoes of Erebus will be... I've been listening to stuff all over the spectrum, from more Rammstein, to Feist.

And as long as I'm being silly, what about casting actors? I'll have to ponder that one...

Ah, also, Echoes of Erebus is getting very close to the 100 page mark. I hope to end around the same range as Yute, which was 256. That 100 I have right now probably translates to a bit higher if I added page breaks for new chapters and whatnot. It'd be nice to have it ready for the next VCON (Vancouver sci-fi convention) but like Watching Yute, I will NOT rush it.

If anyone who's read Lifehack and/or Watching Yute has any casting/soundtrack ideas, let me know...! If you want some visual clues as to how I see them, there's always my anime art gallery... though I don't imagine the books in an anime style... that's just the gear my drawing was stuck in at the time. Someday after Echoes of Erebus is done, I'll have to attack my realism.